There are some days when my confidence seems to reach the highest of the heavens.
And there are others when it simply says, “Find me.”
I have lofty dreams of writing many things – children’s series, books of poetry, youth/young adult, memoirs, and in my wildest dreams – fantasy. Yet, there’s a little voice inside my head that says, “Carla, you don’t realize how difficult that really is. That will take forever. You’re too busy. You don’t have time. You don’t even know where to begin. When are you going to…?” Eventually, it becomes so negative, I allow the voice to trail off as I try to push it out of my ear. It brings with it great (and unwelcome) discouragement. But…
There’s another voice. One that doesn’t seem nearly as strong. And though it’s faint, it still seems somehow – powerful. It tells me, “Who said you had to do it in a day? Or a year? Who says you can’t? Why do you have to listen to that? Haven’t other people done it? Don’t you have something to say? Have you really tried hard enough?” And it closes with, “Carla, don’t give up.”
I think I like the second one better. I know that some dreams don’t come true – but some do, and in the beginning, you can’t tell them apart. After all, I did try it once. I wrote from my heart. Labored in love – and finished my first book nearly two years ago about a subject in which I feel well versed, “The Power of Your Pain.” So excited was I at its sharing that I stared in disbelief when a friend I’d known since we were eleven years old took my wee little book to read on her trip to Puerto Vallarta.
“That book has traveled to places I have not!” I mused. I savored that thought – because isn’t that what our words do? Especially if we write them well. Among the greatest beauties of writing is that your words can go to places where you cannot physically be. They can touch hearts and change minds millions of miles away – through the unfathomable power of connection. I realize writing can be hard. Publishing can be even harder; but, when you have so many things that you want to say – even more so if it can be meaningful for someone else, then I believe – you should keep trying.
And try I will…because I have hope…that one day, my words will make a monumental difference. And that will be #priceless.
#iwontgiveup #evenwhenitshard #keepwriting #keepreading #keeptrying #keepbelieving #dreamcatcher #formychildren #fortheonesilove #fortheonesiknowethnot #forme #literacylove #carlamichelle
Photograph by Aisha Ussery