Find the shine

A reminder for me that even when things are hard to bear, we can often find shine somewhere in between.

Today was hard!!!

I woke up late. Even though I set my alarm. And heard it when it went off. And turned it off. And looked at it. And went back to sleep, and thought I had more time, and realized ten minutes too late, that I really needed to get up.

My to do list was terribly long. My littlest one felt today was ideal for meltdown mode. My next to the littlest one had computer issues I couldn’t fix. I was down to the ninth hour on something I needed to turn in by midnight, and it was terribly stressful.

I’m on the third birthday for one of my four boys (tomorrow) in the last three weeks, and I haven’t planned exactly what we’re supposed to do yet (though he’s been counting down for the last 21 days – he is still seven). I dare not disappoint (at least, that’s how I feel – Supermom complex and all.)

I missed something (seemingly critical) in a file that I’d looked at – at least 30 times before today. I missed an important meeting – because I just, forgot. I had plans cancelled at the last minute because someone else changed their calendar…

And I think I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch today! #sigh

I was so spent by the end of my afternoon! I decided that though I hadn’t in a couple of months (it’s been freezing), I was going to take a well needed walk around my neighborhood. Besides, the snow was melting. It was a whopping 67 degrees. I live in Colorado, so I had to seize this moment. Last week, it was in the 30s.

It was so refreshing!

Though I’ve never considered myself to be an “outdoor” girl (i.e., I’ve never been – nor do I have the desire – to go camping), I am certainly a friend and fan of nature, particularly as it relates to picturesque landscapes. In my simple walk around the neighborhood, I’ve always noticed something that I’ve never seen before, and today was no different.

It was so nice to unplug from the day’s drama. I felt inaccessible to all of the sneaky thoughts that were exploding in my head, reminding me of all of my missteps. It was most discouraging; but, outside – I felt immune! I was too busy inhaling beautiful, brisk air. I was enjoying the lovely shade of sky blue just above my head.

I was cherishing how much I loved looking at (and squishing) the snow that was left on the ground even though so much of it had melted away. It has such a lovely iridescent quality when it sparkles in the sunlight. This was blissful.

As I got closer to home, I couldn’t help but notice many broken branches. We had a record snow last week, and though it looks light and fluffy on TV, snow is actually quite heavy! It severed many branches on trees all over the city, because the limbs couldn’t support the weight.

I walked by the house above and noticed a most peculiar message: “Free Firewood.” I saw branches strewn across the lawn, and quickly recognized that familiar, fibrous tear. However, I thought, “What a wonderful way to look at it!” They could have been frustrated that it happened; saddened that the tree was marred. They could have cut the branches and complained as they disposed of them.

Instead, they considered that these same branches could bring warmth to a home; hearth to a fire; comfort to a family, or perhaps a single individual. Maybe someone could roast marshmallows with delightful little people or a couple in love. In what was likely unexpected and potentially unpleasant, they still found a bit of shine that they could share with others – and this gave me pause.

Indeed, today – was a rough one; but tonight, I considered a few other thoughts.

I was forgiven for forgetting about that meeting. The person I was supposed to have it with, forgot, too – until I called her to apologize for forgetting! I made one of Mr. Meltdown’s favorite dishes tonight – potstickers and fried rice – and he melted again, with glee!

The critical oversight – was never noticed. I have time to repair it, and no one was injured. The last-minute deadline due at midnight was submitted three hours early, and the worst is over (I’m so relieved). Someone volunteered to help me troubleshoot my tech issue tomorrow, and I spent my last hour offering consolation to a stranger who felt they were at the end of their rope.

Turns out, this wasn’t the worst day ever. Perhaps, just a bump in the road. My takeaway, from the lovely walk that followed the chaos? Find the shine – like that radiant sun that was high above the tree that was essentially bruised, but not broken.

So am I.

As I used to tell my students all the time, “I know today may have been rough, but tomorrow is a new day – and we get to try all over again.” I think I’m going to work on avoiding my “Woe is me mode.” I think the, “I can get through this,” approach is far more manageable. May we all have more livable days ahead!

Cheers to doing better. Good Night!

#findtheshine #itgetsbetter #nevergiveup #breathe #forgive #forget #keeptrying #priceless #drcarlamichelle